it kind of sucks knowing that somehow that the more you do, it ends up becoming worse.. the more effort you put in the worse it becomes... heck even doing nothing also has negative effects as well... well thats a life a loser goes through... just the part and parcel... and the cycle repeats itself... well given the circumstacnce what can a guy do?? just hope for the best??
i'm not a victim of circumstance.. just a victim of my own circumstance...
how grim reality is... its like i've been building a facade for these past few weeks... thinking that i could finally break free of this mundaneness... but heck... once a loser always a loser.. who am i kidding anyways... heck... the sheer magnitude at which the bubble in which i surround myself in burst... back to where i am... nowhere... still sinking in the bottomless pit...
heck i still don't know why i even bother to post a blog... and as i stare into the blank screen... thinking of the next line... i just wonder... who'll even bother to read this crap in the first place?? heck i can only think of one person... the loser who's writing this crap in the first place...
i do wanna change... but its just that... no matter what i do i'll end up back to where i started.. nowhere... the harder i try.. the harder i fall... so in the end i just give up ... call me me anything you like.. i just don't care anymore...
it kind of sucks not knowing what i'll become in the future... or not knowing what i wanna do in the future... the promise of a bright future when we were young has totally been wiped out by reality... i really envy those people who has a path laid out for them... or one which was out created by their sheer will and hard work dedication.. etc etc... i'm too stupid and lazy and even if i try since i'll end up knowing i'll fail in the end wads the use...
whatever it is.... i just dont care anymore...
Sunday, August 31, 2008
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